Sorry for not having any new updates. I have been busy with my offline life and have not been able to access my computer with PhotoShop, but hopefully, I’ll have more stuff for visitors the next time I do update. As for my personal updates, I haven’t updated my MP3 player yet (lol) and I’ve decided to give up domestic seafood and dairy. Since I eat out so much, I figure that it will be practically impossible to give up dairy and/or seafood since there aren’t that many vegan options, so I’ve decided to give them up when I’m at home. It won’t help much, since my family still supports the industries, but it’s a start.

I finally thought of a domain name, but it’s now under what’s called redemption period. It means that the domain has been deleted but the registrar is given 30 days to reclaim it. I hope that the people (one of those ad-filled, money-making industries) who own it will give it up so I can have it ^-^. Basically, my new domain might not be open until about 3 weeks, but I’ll be kicking myself if I give up the domain and then see that it’s available one day.

This is the first real time in my blogging life when I think that I’ve actually had something on my mind to talk about. In October 2008, I grew a great fear of death and dying. Since then, I’ve been keeping a diary and it’s helped me reflect on what’s been going on around me and keep track of my life. I’ve been thinking lately about how much I’ve grown and changed since then, and even further back in time. I used to be a pessimist. I used to tear myself apart like teenagers are known to do now. My opinions were a lot different and I was really a nervous wreck. I couldn’t control a lot. Now that I think about it more, I realise that maybe the nervousness I felt then was the social anxiety that I feel now. Stuff like having a boyfriend or a lot of friends, or even being popular, was important to me. I spent a majority of my 6th grade life stupidly trying to get more friends and more respect by trying to fit in.

Now, I respect myself and others more like when I was in elementary school, and had no care or worries in the world. Unlike when I was in 6th grade, I actually have a stance on the things that are happening in life. Stuff like, I thought that being a web designer was considered ‘cool’ back then, but now I realise that it’s somewhat considered nerdy. But I don’t care anymore. I love designing and coding websites, and I still have a lot of places to improve in that field. I’m a nerd, and I admit it. Last year, for our first day of French class, I had to give one fact about myself and I said that I was a computer geek. I got a lot of looks that said “ew,” but I giggled with my friends about it. I couldn’t have written this paragraph in my personal journal during my freshman year.

There are still things that I don’t like about myself and that I’m trying to improve on, but I’m really glad that I’m not the girl who can’t control her thoughts and what she says. Even though this has translated to gagging in my teenage life, I guess that I can say now that I’m content with where I am, and hopefully, I have a life ahead of me that I’m going to live.

That’s some of what I have to say, but I’ll leave it at that. It’s really humid outside, but at least it’s been feeling like summer. I can’t believe that I’ll be a junior this year. I swear that I just started high school.